Just A Crush
by uhhxhaley
Summary: A/U & OOC: Alec is more on the shy side, but when he goes to a new school, he starts to come out of his shell. But will he also come out of the closet? That's quite tough to do, especially with a Catholic family. Follow Alec as he goes through his last year of high school with someone, that could possibly, change his world. First good story. Give it a chance :)
1. New School, New Life

**A/N: Sooo. It's been over a year since I've posted ._. I just deleted my stories and started fresh. But since I have a new laptop (yay!) I'll be able to actually post ^-^ I didn't really know what to write about, so I just decided to wing it (of course). I hope you guys like it though! **

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"Alec! Get down here and drive me to school! You can't make me late on my first day of school, God!" Izzy shrieked from the foyer. I love her, but she needs to tone it down like two thousand notches. She still had thirty minutes before school even started.

"Why can't you just drive there yourself, Izzy," I grumbled as I stumbled down the stairs. "You're sixteen, plus, we still have thirty minutes. I'm taking the bus if we have to leave this early everyday." I was a senior in high school, well, I should be graduated, but I um... Struggled my freshman year.

"Actually," She smirked, "We have an hour. I changed the clocks so you'd actually get your lazy ass out of bed." _Damn her. _Izzy winked and ran up to her bedroom.

"Thanks, Iz, means a lot." I grumbled to myself.

See, this is why I'm not into girls. I mean, yeah, most of the girls at my school looked like barbies and perfect, but that's not what I look for. Like me, I'm a plain guy. I have naturally straight black hair, baby blue eyes, and I'm 6' 1". But this isn't the point. I just think girls are better to have as friends than girlfriends. Boys, mm-hmm, are my first choice.

You probably think I'm a total loser, and that is very true. I'm the 'emo' kid that only talks to his brother, sister and step-brother. Imagine what my life would be like if people knew I was gay. My whole family would disown me. You wanna know something even more cliché about my life? I have a hardcore Catholic family. Nice life, huh?

I walked to the bathroom that connects to my room. Did I mention I had a filthy rich family? My mother, Maryse, divorced my father, Robert, who is the CEO of Intel, just to get child support and his huge mansion. My parents really do make me believe in true love.

Anyways, I jumped into the shower, not even caring it was cold and took the fastest shower I could. I jumped out, wrapped a towel around my waist, and headed to my closet with all black or neutral colors. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw, black destroyed skinnies, and threw on a plain white slight v-neck tee-shirt. Simplicity is my name.

I looked at my clock and saw I still had a good thirty minutes of down time. I double checked my bag to make sure I had everything I need, and sat on my bed, waiting for Izzy to scream at me again.

That didn't last long.

"Alec, let's go now, please." How could I say no to that face.. " I'm just so excited to go to a public school, I mean, we've always been in a private school, and I'm just so AHHHH!" Her scream was ear-piercing, no one should be _that_ excited for school.

I nodded my head, "Okay, go wait in the car while I brush my teeth." She sprinted down the stairs. I'd personally like to know how she didn't kill herself running in those heels. I quickly scrubbed my teeth without care and headed to my car, not ready for my first day of my senior year.

**xXxXxXx **

I didn't even bother going to my locker. It's easier to carry everything in my bag. I pulled out my schedule and saw that my first class of the day was study hour. _Good, _I thought to myself, _an extra hour of sleep. _Someone bumped into me, "Sorry," Now why did I apologize?

"Oh, no, I'm sorry." The stranger said with a dazzling smile and... Makeup?. "Hey, aren't you the kid whose dad is the CEO of Intel?" I nodded, "That's so cool! I thought you and your siblings went to private school?"

"Yeah," My voice was small, "Mom wanted us to have some 'real world experience' before we got jobs and went to college and stuff." The stranger nodded. He looked at my hand and saw my schedule in it.

"Lemme see that." He looked down and then looked back up with that dazzling smile again, "We have first and sixth hour together. Want me to show you where first hour is?" I nodded, feeling a slight blush coming across my face. This guy was something different, very charismatic.

"Let's go," He stuck his hand out," My name is Magnus, by the way." I took his hand and shook it. "Alec. Alexander actually." There was a long silence, so I decided to start walking. Magnus followed. The bell rang as we walked into the door, I took a seat all the way in the back right corner and Magnus followed.

"Shut up and read or something." The unintroduced teacher ordered, as he stared mindlessly at his computer. I took my phone out to ask Jace, my step-brother, how he was doing in our old private school, but Magnus grabbed it before I could do anything.

"Here. Text me if you ever get lost or need help. Camille is in this class, she's my best friend." Did he just wink at me? Um.. "I'll sit by her today but I promise I'll sit by you tomorrow, okay."

"Okay." I said blandly and sent a text to Jace. He won't be able to reply until he got home, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about my brother. I put my head down and let myself sleep.

The next couple hours went by extremely slow. I had to stay with my teacher during lunch because apparently my poetry was _so good_ he just needed to learn how I did it. Teachers usually hate me, so this was kind of nice. His name was name was , he was older but seemed to be a nice guy. We didn't really talk about anything during 'lunch', we looked at some old poetry and wrote. It was actually pretty peaceful.

By the time sixth hour came around, the first person I looked for was Magnus, but he wasn't there. I sat in the back, once again, and sat next to a boy with brown crazy hair and thick glasses. He was wearing a band tee and was reading a comic book.

"So.. Whatcha reading?" I awkwardly asked. He looked up and smiled a smile that was even better than Magnus.

"Just The Green Lantern. I've read it three times but I never get sick of it. I'm Simon."

"Alec." Simone nodded. I looked to the door as the bell rang, and saw Magnus slide in, giving the teacher a smile. He saw me and sat in the desk in front of me.

Sixth hour was math. We really didn't do anything, we just got our textbooks and we were able to talk for the rest of the hour. To make it even better, sixth hour is the last hour of the day. Simone told me he had this teacher last year and that she lets everyone have free time at the end.

"So Alec, I see you've met Simone. My bestest friend in the world" Simone just ignored him and took him comic book back out. "He actually hates me." Magnus giggled.

I smirked, "He seems pretty nice. You must've done something to piss him off." Magnus laughed as the bell rang. I got up faster than I expected, but Magnus touched my shoulder to hold me back. I glanced at him with a blush coming up to my cheeks.

"Text me tonight, alright?" I nodded, my blush getting worse. He winked at me and left. I went to my car, and then it hit me.

I have a crush on Magnus.

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**A/N: I hope you guys like it so far! Please review :3 And I was also wondering if you guys wanted me to do POV's? I kind of had an idea of what to do for Magnus, and maybe a small part for Izzy. So just leave a review on what you think I should do, and I'll be listening. Thanks loves 3**

**~xxHaley **


	2. You're Dead, Izzy

**A/N: Okay, so I really doubt I'll be posting consecutively like I just did, but hopefully I can update at least once a week. I'm still not really sure if I should do different POV's, but I'll try to figure that out before I start the next chapter. Hope you guys like this better than last chapter :D**

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I sat in the car and waited for Izzy to join me. I checked my watch, it's been 5 minutes since the bell rang, why isn't she here yet? I pulled my phone out and saw Magnus' contact. Should I text him? The door opened and I dropped my phone instantly.

"Hey, bro," Izzy said with too much enthusiasm. "Why'd you drop your phone like that?" She gave me that look. The look that she knew something. I must be paranoid...

"You scared me," Which wasn't a complete lie, "What took you so long?"

"Well... I was talking to some people, unlike you, I talk to more than three people." That was harsh.

"Actually," I stated, "I talked to two people. And I hope to keep it that way. This place is really weird. I met a guy that wears makeup." Izzy squealed.

"You met Magnus! He's in my lunch! Speaking of lunch, why weren't you there? You told me we had lunch together." She frowned. I texted her in second hour telling her we had the same lunch.

"The teacher wanted to talk about poetry and stuff." I mumbled and started the car. "Let's get out of here. I'm sick of this place already."

We drove home in silence, which was perfectly fine. I didn't want Izzy to bring Magnus up again. Honestly, I don't even think my crush is 'real'. I'm just the new guy, and of course the first guy I lay my eyes on will be a guy I'll like. Damn. No wonder why mom and dad never wanted us going to public schools, my mind is already corrupted.

We pulled into the driveway and I ran straight to my room. Can you believe that teachers already gave us homework? I checked my phone, but Jace still hasn't texted me back. Maybe he already forgot about me and Iz.

"Alec.." Izzy walked in. "Can we talk? We can be totally honest with each other, right?" I nodded and she continued. "So I was talking to Magnus at lunch," _uh-oh, _"And he told me some stuff. I've thought about it before but never could believe it." There was a silence.

"Well, what do you want." My voice came out more harsh than I expected. "Sorry."

"Whatever, but Magnus told me that you guys were talking in first hour, he noticed something. Can I ask you something personal? I won't tell anyone, please." She begged.

"If you think I'm a fag like Magnus, then you're wrong. I mean, come on Iz, our parents raised us as good Catholics. Being gay is a sin and I'm not one to sin. I-" She cut me off.

"Please, Alec, you're rambling on. Magnus said that he kept seeing you blush whenever he would say anything to you."

"So! That doesn't mean anything, Isabelle! How can you even trust him? You only talked to him at lunch." _Shit shit shit._

"And fifth hour, too. But you want to know why I thought you were gay before I even talked to Magnus?" I just stared at her, she continued, "I've seen how you look at Jace, how your face lights up when you see him, or when he texts you or calls you. There's no need to hide it from me, Alec. I'm not like mom and dad. You can tell me anything."

"Get out. Now" Her face was full of confusion. "Why are you waiting? Get out!" I was screaming at this point."

"Fine! But the next time you need someone to talk to, don't come running to me!" She ran out of the room and slammed the door. Does she really know that I'm gay, am I really gay, or is this just a phase? I do admit, I would look at Jace in a non-brotherly way, but that will stop from this point. I'm straight, and I'll prove it to everyone, even Magnus.

I plopped down on my bed and slept until my mother called me down to dinner. I ate, without a word leaving my mouth, and went back to bed when I was done. My senior year is going to suck. Bad.

**xXxXxXx**

I woke up three hours before school started the next day. That's what you get for sleeping all day apparently. I turned over to look at my phone, and to my surprise I actually saw that I had a message; from Jace. Izzy was right about how I get excited when he texts me, to be honest, I wish that wasn't the case. What would my parents do to me if I told them I was gay _and_ liked my step-brother? This needs to stop soon.

I responded to his text with a boring, _That's good _(he said school was alright). I set my phone down and headed to the kitchen to make French toast since I'm up so early.

"Hi, sweetie." My mother said with a shaky voice, "Why are you up so early?

"I slept all day yesterday, I've had more than enough sleep. Why do you sound so haggard?" She sighed. I don't pity her. She's a selfish wench that broke my fathers heart. And wallet.

"Ohh, you know. I'm just having a rough patch." When she said 'rough patch', she meant 'I'm so sad and lonely, come pity me'. I've learned a lot over the years, especially after the divorce.

"I see." I stated and walked out of the kitchen with a juice box and a granola bar. So much for French toast.

As I was walking back to my room, I saw that Izzy's light was already on. Figures. We went on vacation last year last year and it took her almost two hours to do her hair and makeup everyday. I wonder if it takes Magnus as long as her?

The thought of Magnus made me look down at my phone. I opened my contacts and clicked on his name. _What to say,_ I thought to myself. I set my phone down, maybe I can text him later. I ate my granola bar and drank my juice and went to my bathroom and got ready. May I say that it took me and hour to shower? It's not that bad waking up this early.

Five minutes before Izzy and I had to leave, there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Izzy screamed and she jumped down almost the whole flight of stairs. Did she seriously invite someone over five minutes before we had to leave? I walked down the stairs to investigate who was here.

My breath caught as I saw spiky black hair and dark eyeliner.

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**A/N: I guess you could say this is a cliffie, but yeah, I still don't really have much of a plot or anything at the moment. I was thinking doing two POV's next chapter, starting with Magnus and the Alec. And maybe by that time, I'll have more of a plot in my head. Thanks for reading guys! I luff yew 3**

**~xxHaley**


	3. Thank You

**A/N: YAY THREE CONSECUTIVE UPDATES IN A ROW! That's for sticking around with me guys, it really means a lot to me. I decided not to do anyone else's POV unless it was absolutely necessary. Hope you guys like this next chapter :3**

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I looked down the staircase and saw spiky black hair and dark eyeliner. _What! _Izzy invited _him_ over? The more I think and see this guy, the more I feel my parents hating me.

I walked downstairs, glaring at Izzy. She smirked at me as a response.

"Hi, Alec. Should I still sit by you like I promised yesterday?" He said with a wink. All the heat in my body went straight to my face. I looked down and just stared at my feet. Izzy nudged my shoulder and made me look up, Magnus was grinning at me.

"Um, i-if you want I guess." I whispered. He touched my shoulder and I jumped away. Did Izzy tell him I was gay? Or was he just guessing that I am? I never even told Izzy that I was, I don't think kicking someone out of your room for privacy is saying that you're gay.

"Oh, Alec, there's no need to back away like that. I mean, no one can resist me." Oh God. "Now tell me Alec, is your full name Alexander, or are your parents that boring?" I took a peak at him and mumbled in affirmatively. "I've always liked that n-"

"Okay guys, enough. I need to go to school, like now. You know why." She hinted to Magnus. What? Why is she acting so weird?

We all headed to Magnus car. I sat in back while Izzy and Magnus and Iz were giggling and singing their hearts out. How did they become such good friends in less than twenty-four hours? Why couldn't Magnus and I click like them. "Stop." I groaned out.

Izzy and Magnus both turned around and stared at me with confused wide eyes. I blushed and looked down at my hands and said, "Singing so loud... It's hurting my head, a-and I'm tired." Izzy looked at me. It wasn't just any normal look, it was a look that said she knew something. I need to talk to her about this when we get home. It's eating me alive.

We drove the rest of the way to school in almost complete silence, aside from the soft indie music he was playing. We pulled into the parking lot, and Izzy ran out of the car without saying goodbye. Did she really already meet a boy that she likes? She should seriously teach me her skills.

"Ya gonna get out?" Magnus questioned while he opened my door. I'm not sure if it's just me, but it seems like he has some sort of accent I didn't pick up yesterday.

"Yeah. Sorry." I got out, but Magnus grabbed my wrist before I could head towards the school. I jumped again.

"Sorry," He let go of my wrist, " But I just needed to ask why you never text me? Good thing your sister is always on her phone."

"Oh, yeah. I was going to, but I slept most of the time I was home yesterday. Sorry." He grinned a grin that looks like a devious cat.

"Alexander," Wait, did he just say my full name? "You don't need to apologize all the time. Oh wait, I forgot you were a, _Catholic._" He looked me straight in the eye.

"So just because I'm a Catholic means I need to be nice?" Magnus shrugged. "Well I'm not like most Catholics. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go to class." I headed off in a fast pace, but Magnus quickly caught up to me.

I took the same spot I did yesterday, but this time Magnus sat next to me and stayed there. I can't let Magnus make me more of a freak than I already am. _Damn, _I thought to myself, _I really am becoming my dad._ I pulled my ear buds out and put my head on the table. Magnus rested his five inches from mine, so close I could feel his breath. He grabbed one of my ear buds and started to sing along.

"Hey," He whispered with a raspy voice. "I never would have guessed you would like Sam Smith." I just looked into his eyes, not saying a word, "To me, I would've guessed you be listening to some emo band or something." Now I was glaring at him.

Ever since sixth grade, people have always called me emo, even when I was in private school and had to wear a preppy uniform. "No. I actually hate that kind of music. If I were you, I wouldn't be so quick to judge people." I couldn't tell if he was offended or impressed.

"I like you, Alexander. You're different." My cheeks flushed again and I looked away.

Magnus left me alone for the rest of the hour. Thank God it was already Friday, and thank God for the first day of school starting on a Thursday. I just sat in silence for the rest of the hour while Magnus played on his phone. The bell rang and I rushed to the door, thankful Magnus didn't grab my shoulder again. I pulled my phone out and saw that Magnus had sent me a text.

_Can we talk after school? Izzy wanted me to talk to you about some stuff_

Oh my God... He's probably going to molest me! Is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?

**xXxXxXx**

I ended up going to the nurse's office after first hour. I lied to her and said that I threw up so she'll let me go home. Since I didn't drive to school today (thanks Magnus), I had to wait until lunch time for my mother to pick me up. I texted Izzy before I left and told her that I was leaving. Magnus on the other hand, I waited until I got home to text him.

My mother could tell that I wasn't sick, but didn't even question it. I used to always do this in junior high. But the more I think about it, the more sick I really do feel.

I pulled my phone out as soon as I stepped into my bedroom and thought about what to say to Magnus. Should I tell him to come over after school, or just talk to him tomorrow in class? We could always call each other... No. I shook that thought right out of my head. Phone calls, especially late night ones, were always dangerous. You always end up spilling out your life story without even realizing it. I ended up starting small.

_Hey. I'm not feeling too well, so I left school early. I guess we can't talk later._

It took everything in me to press send. I always sound too nice when I talk to him, which is strange because I'm usually pretty shy or rude around people. I pressed send.

I got a message back almost instantly.

_Oh! I hope you feel better later! Izzy wants me to come over later today. Could we possibly talk then? _

Well shit. I replied with, _Uh sure. As long as Izzy doesn't care I guess..._

What in the actual hell am I getting myself into. Will my mom even let him in this house? She will probably think he's the devil. My father would cuss him out and tell him to never step foot in our neighborhood again.

My phone binged, _Okay darling ;) I'm sure Iz won't mind at all. _

Really Izzy.

A few hours later, Magnus and Izzy walked into the house, along with my mother. I could hear her talking to Magnus, and she sounded genuinely happy to be speaking to him. Then I heard Magnus ask something.

"Where's Alexander's room? I need to ah- give him our math homework" I could hear my mother tell him which door was mine. I quickly jumped under my covers and awaited Magnus.

The door opened and I saw him. He was wearing different makeup from this morning, he had browns and skin tones rather than black. His hair was still spiked, which may I say looks very difficult to keep in place. Magnus waved t me and stood awkwardly at my door. I sat up.

"S-so," I stuttered, "Why do you need to talk to me?"

Magnus closed the door behind him and started towards my bed. I tensed. He sat on the edge and looked me straight in the eye.

"You know when you told me you weren't like most Catholics?" I gave him a slight nod, "Well, is one reason that you're not normal? Not like most people your family associates with?" I couldn't move, couldn't breath. Did he really just come into my house and ask _me _if _I _was gay?

"Why does it matter?" I tried to keep my voice from faltering, but failed. Magnus snickered.

"Please, Alexander, just tell me. Isabelle wants to know. And it's not like I'll go around telling everyone. Izzy is just worried for you, she says that you've been weird lately. I know we've only known each other for a little over a day, but it feels like I've known you and Iz for years." He sounded embarrassed, shy. My whole body was warm, I could feel my cheeks burning.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" I tried changing the subject, but he looked at me with such serious eyes and nodded. Maybe if I told him, it would feel good. Maybe it will make me happier. "How do I know if I'm gay?" I asked him.

Magnus looked surprised, like he did something right. "Well, I'm bi so I can't fully answer that." My face fell. "But I found out that I liked boys when I was thirteen, so really it wasn't that long ago. I was at a party that my gay friend was throwing, and I saw two boys making out. I know, that's kind of fucked up, but it made me curious. So to answer your question, yes, I have kissed someone. Four people to be exact, only one girl though." The sides of my mouth wanted to come up. "Anyways, at the party I got curious as I said, so I went up to a group of mutual friends who were gay, and I ended up making out with my friends cousin, which is the reason we aren't friends today."

I was fully smiling at this point. Izzy and I never really have deep conversations anymore, so this was a nice change.

"Thanks... Telling me all that really helps." I couldn't make eye contact with him. I'd probably melt if I saw his cat like eyes. "But Magnus," We met eyes. "I'm still not sure if I'm gay." I dropped my eyes right as I said that.

Magnus lifted my chin and said, "Well maybe we can find out..."

We met eyes, then I couldn't take my eyes away from his full lips. He started to lean in, but then the door flew open.

"Alec, I need to ask yo-" My mothers face would be priceless if it wasn't because she saw her son almost kiss a glittery flamboyant guy. "I'm sorry." She quickly added, then left. I felt tears coming. No. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.

I tried to get up to leave, but Magnus pulled me in for an embrace. He whispered reassuring words into my ear, as if we've been friends forever. Maybe liking him wasn't that bad after all.

"Thank you." I don't even know if anything came out of my mouth, but I think he already knew.

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**A/N: Am I the only one that imagines Magnus as an Asian Adam Lambert? I don't know, that was the first image I had when Cassandra Clare introduced him. So I don't think you can really consider this as Alec coming out, but it's a step forward! I'm not even going to lie, I'm just writing this as I go, I'm not even really thinking ahead. But the best ideas are the ones that just come to you! Right ._.**

**Enough of this rambling on, thanks for reading my lovely fangirls 3**

**~xxHaley**


	4. And Then There's Two of Us

**A/N: Okay, so I went to a party yesterday and woke up early, so this chapter is full of randomness and yeah. School's done in three weeks so I'll for sure make the chapters longer and better then. I hope you guys still like this though! And thank you to everyone that has reviewed, followed, and favorited! It means a lot **

All I remember is crying myself to sleep. In Magnus' arms. Was my mother mad? She did say sorry, but there's no way a hardcore Catholic would just let this slide. She must be plotting my death right now.

When I woke up, I heard Magnus and Izzy talking in hushed voices, most likely about me. I slowly crawled out of the covers, wait, did Magnus cover me up? I pushed that thought from my head and stuck over to my door to hear what they were saying.

"So he didn't say he was gay, but you guys almost kissed?" I could hear the confusion and excitement in her voice.

"Yeah, so I guess it's safe to say he's at least bi. But something else happened. Um, your mom kind of walked in." I can just imagine Izzy's jaw dropping to the floor. "We were about to kiss, but then the door opened and she came in and left almost immediately." I could hear the fear in his voice, he's probably having the same thought I am about what my mother is up to now.

"I'm gonna talk to him," Izzy said while opening my door. I sprinted to my desk chair and acted like I've been there the whole time. "Don't even pretend like you weren't listening. I heard you get out of your bed." Both of our faces fell. I could feel tears coming again. Wow. I need to stop being such a pussy.

My door opened again, and a glittery boy I almost kissed walked in. Izzy gave him a knowing look and left. Magnus sat at the edge of my bed, giving me my distance.

He looked at me in the most serious way I've ever seen. "Your mom isn't mad, you know. I was just talking to her when I was in here." He told me, his eyes filled with something I couldn't describe.

"What did she say to you? She's probably lying, that's one of her hobbies." I replied.

"She told me that she always hated how Catholics are. Her parents told her they would disown her if she stopped being one. I guess that's why she divorced your father." He said carefully. I've always thought my mother divorced Robert for money, I never would have thought this could be the reason.

"She told me that she's known you were gay for a while. I didn't ask how, I don't want to get into your guys' lives too much. Some things should be kept as secrets."

"Thanks." I didn't know what else to say to him, this boy that I've known for two days is being better to me than anyone in my family, besides Izzy, ever has. I have a lot more secrets that no one knows about. I would say it's even more personal than being gay. I have a feeling that Magnus would support me through all of it, who would have thought I could fall in love so easy?

"Hey, Alec?" Magnus broke me out of my silence.

"Huh, what?"

"It's only six you know, maybe you, Izzy and I can go somewhere to take our minds off things?"

"Oh. Sure." I got up and went to my bathroom to fix myself up.

"I'll be waiting downstairs." Magnus called out as he left my room. I stared at myself in the mirror. I've always hated how I looked. I'm tall and lanky, my nose is too big a crooked, and my eyes are different sizes. Why would Magnus even try to kiss me? How could anyone love me?

**xXxXxXx **

Izzy and Magnus decided to go out to a small craft fair since I wasn't talking to anyone. Magnus drove and Izzy let me sit in the passenger seat for once. I just looked out the window the whole time driving there.

The fair was about fifteen minutes away from my house, and it actually looked kind of cute. There were little tents set up with all sorts of stuff. Most of the tent had pointless knick-knacks, but the ones that interested me were the ones that had different things from different cultures and religions.

I went off to go look at the Belgium tent because there was food. You can't not go to a stand that has food, right? I ended up getting Belgian fries and looked around for a bit. I saw Izzy and Magnus looking at overpriced 'authentic' Picasso drawings. I really hope they aren't dumb enough to buy one.

From a distance I could hear Magnus talking to the guy at the stand, "Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it."

I felt my throat tighten. Was I getting jealous? I don't even know that guy, and I barely know Magnus, I have no right to be jealous. Oh, to hell with it.

"Magnus!" I called from across the aisle. Magnus looked confused, but also grateful for distracting him. He and Izzy started to walk over.

"Yes, darling." Magnus question with a knowing look.

"Uh, I forgot." I blushed and looked at my shoes.

Magnus leaned down so he could get close to my ears and whispered, "Thanks for calling me over. That guy is like, obsessed with me." I looked up and he winked at me making me blush more than a schoolgirl.

"Oh my God!" Izzy screamed, looking down at her phone, "Guys, I need to go. That one person asked me out!" Now it was her and Magnus screaming. Why am I always out of the loop?

"Who? I think I have the right to know who is going out with my little sister." Here comes the overprotective me.

"Um, I'll tell you later. Maybe." She ran off and screamed for a taxi. Now it was just Magnus and I.

"Let's go see a movie."

"But-" I tried to counter him but he already had my hand and was running to the nearest theater. I remembered that we were in public and pulled my hand out of his.

Magnus didn't even see what movie he paid for, he just saw bought the one for the net movie playing. Is that bad?

We walked to the concessions stand and Magnus bought one large popcorn (he told me he loves movie theater popcorn) and only one soda. I looked at him with horror in my eyes as he paid.

"What?"

"You only got one soda," He gave me a confused look. "There's two of us." He didn't even say anything, just grinned, winked and walked into the theater. I reluctantly followed him.

We were one of the only people in the theater, and that place was huge. I kept sneaking glances at Magnus, but every time I did, he'd turn around and just smile. He lead me up to the very top right corner, no one was anywhere near us. We had half the theater to ourselves. Magnus took the very corner seat, and I sat next to him.

"So," I said, my voice cracking. "What movie are we seeing?"

"Don't know," He lowered his voice. "I just wanted to be alone with you."

My stomach. Oh my stomach. I've only had butterflies once when I was with Jace, but now, it felt like my stomach was going to combust. I stared at the popcorn, not knowing where to look.

We sat there in silence until the movie began. Apparently we were seeing _The Amazing Spiderman_. Kind of sucks how I never even seen the first one. I put my head back and closed my eyes.

"Alec." I felt a nudge on my shoulder.

I looked at Magnus, the arm rest was now up and I was leaning against his shoulder.

"Did I fall asleep?" I asked, not even getting off his shoulder.

"Yeah, for like five minutes. You just rolled onto my shoulder so I thought I'd wake you up."

"You're really comfy." I said as I snuggled against him even more. Magnus tensed out of surprise. I looked up at him and gave him a small smile which he returned. This is turning out a lot better than I thought it would.

We just sat there for a while, both of us relaxed into each other. Magnus even started to play with my hair.

"Your hair is so soft. I'm quite jealous."

"I bet your hair is soft when you don't have loads of hairspray and gel in it."

"Well, maybe you can come over to my house after this, and we can find out." He suggested.

My whole body tensed out of surprise, and then I felt a hand under my chin, making me look up. Magnus' big cat like eyes were staring right at me, his head slowly getting closer to mine. My breath hitched, I didn't know what to do. I sat back up into a normal sitting position and placed my right hand around Magnus' chin and neck, pulling us closer. We looked into each other eyes, our noses touching.

"Ready to piss God off?" He tried to joke, but his voice came out shaky. I nodded and got moved forward, our lips brushed against each other. Magnus wasn't letting me kiss him so easy. When I'd try to move in, he'd move back or nibble on my neck or ear, which was indescribable.

I placed both of my hands on his cheeks to keep his head still. He didn't even try to struggle. I took the hint and lightly pecked him, but he grabbed the back of my head and deepened the kiss. He pulled me onto his lap and grabbed my waist. He bit my bottom lip, and I threw my head back with pleasure. We were both completely oblivious to the four people around us. My hands roamed around Magnus' body, over his chest, arms and face. His tongue touched my lips, and I took the hint and opened my mouth not really knowing what to do.

Like I said earlier, I hate my body. So when he placed his hand on my stomach, I flinched back and sat on my own chair. Magnus gave me a questioning look, and I just ignored him. Now wasn't the time to tell secrets and get all personal.

"I-I'm sorry. I went to far. I wasn't think-"

"It's okay. It really isn't about that." I said quickly.

Magnus gave me a sad look. "You know you can talk to me, Alec. If something is bothering you, I'll try my best to help you. I've been through a lot, a lot more than any eighteen year old should go through. Do you want to leave and go back to my house?" Oh, God, what's he going to do to me? "Oh no, we won't do anything. We can just sit in my room and talk about whatever is bothering us."

"Okay... But I need to text my mom first."

"Great." He said while dragging me out of the theater.

**A/N: Well. Nice. I'm a tired girl rn so I'm gonna take a nap.**  
**PLEASE REVIEW GUYS. I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER OKAY?**  
**Okay. Bye**

**~xxHaley**


	5. Author's Note

**A/N:**

**Hi guys! Sorry the next chapter is taking so long, it's finals week and I need time to study. But school will be over on Friday, so hopefully I won't get lazy this summer and I'll keep writing!**

**I've been trying to write, anything I write just isn't good enough. So far I've rewritten it three times. Any suggestions from you guys would be great :) so leave a review on where I should go with this story for the next chapter. Anything that involves a better story line would be great!**

**I'l try to get the next chapter up on Saturday or Sunday, depending if I go out with any of my friends or not. **

**Thanks for sticking with me! **

**~ xxHaley**


	6. How'd You Know?

**A/N: I FINISHED COHF IN 30 HOURS AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ON BECAUSE THE BOOK HANGOVER IN UNREAL. But now I think I'll write some fanfic I've rewritten this twice already so I hope it'll be good now :D Your guys' reviews also give me reason to keep writing, so keep reviewing! It means a lot! **

**I was thinking about starting another story too, but I'm not really sure about what. I was thinking another Malec one, maybe Clace, or a non-romantic one for The Outsiders. I just watched the movie again so I got inspired. So if you guys would like any of those, please tell me! **

**Thanks for reading c: **

**Btw, sorry for the wait.**

* * *

I couldn't get myself to tell my mother that I was going to Magnus house, so I called Izzy to pass the message on. I don't think I'll be talking to my mom any time soon, or until she comes to me and tells me that she's fine with who I am. I know dad will probably disown me, but what about Jace or even Max? I've been dreading the day where I come out for two years now, when I formed a slight crush on Jace.

Magnus' house was really big. Not as big as mine, but it was almost twice the size of most homes in New York. Most homes in central New York aren't even homes really, just apartments and condos. His house was cottage-like and had a cozy cabin feeling. Well, the outside was cabin like, but the inside was as modern as a loft, there were contemporary painting, white walls and nice cherry-brown wood floors, and everything was as clean as a germaphobe's house.

"Do you have a big family? Your house is really big." I lamely asked.

"Nope. Only me and my dad. He's hardly ever even here. He always denies it but I know he's just sleeping around with tons of women. But that's not always such a bad thing, since I already know he's going to hell." Magnus said.

"No one is here?" I said, shocked.

"Yup," Magnus mischievously purred. "You know, Alexander, it really is adorable how much you blush."

"Oh-um, well- thanks." I couldn't help covering my face with my hands. Magnus removed them and held my hands.

"You seemed bothered at the theater. Wanna talk?"

"No," I replied quickly. Magnus frowned. "Maybe later. I-I just want to relax now."

"Okay, darling." He pulled me into a hug quicker than lightning. I pulled away and gave him an uncertain smile. He went off to some room down the hall.

I allowed myself to look around the house. I imagined Magnus' room would be upstairs, so I went up there first. It was huge, there was a den that had two hallways leading off in different directions. Magnus came up behind me and placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me to what I expected to be his room. His touch sent shivers tingles throughout my whole body. We went down the hall to the right, and went to the room at the very end. It ended up not being his room, but a small home movie theater with three rows of reclining love-seats. There was a projector on the ceiling with dim lights surrounding it.

Neither of us said anything for minutes. Just the thought of an at home theater amazed me. I walked around and looked at all the movies he had. The projector had Netflix, Hulu and Vudu. He also had DVD's in the corner, everything was overwhelming. I looked at a few of the movies he had, and saw that he had _The Outsiders_. I grabbed it and gave it to Magnus, giving him a small smile.

Neither of us said anything for minutes. I walked around and looked and all the movies he had. The projector had Netflix, Hulu and Vudu. He also had DVD's in the corner, it was overwhelming. I looked at a few of the movies he had, and saw that he had _The Outsiders_. I grabbed it and gave it to Magnus, giving him a small smile.

"You like this movie, too?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "I read the book in eighth grade, and I've loved it since then. This is the extended version, right?"

Magnus smiled and nodded. "Give me a second and I'll put it in." He paused. "When do you need to be home? It's nine-thirty already."."

"Doesn't matter. There's nothing to be home for, and if anyone really needed me they could just call me." I shrugged.

"Well," Magnus hinted. "We can have a lot of fun tonight"

I tried to speak but nothing came out, only a croak. Magnus giggled.

After he started the movie, he went to grab some snacks and to go change. I awkwardly sat there, waiting for the beginning credits to be over and for the actual movie to start. My phone vibrated. I pulled it out and saw that Jace sent me a text. _Hey brahh. You should come over tomorrow. Dad has been on my ass about school and I need someone to chill with. _I gulped and texted him back a simple _sure_.

Magnus walked back in the room with a huge blanket, pillows, tons of food and a total different wardrobe. He was wearing mid-thigh white shorts, and an electric blue muscle tank. If anyone else were to wear that I'd think they were crazy, but Magnus can pull anything off. He also took off his makeup, and I must admit, he has natural beauty too. He also took off his makeup.

"You're staring, Alexander."

I murmured an apology. He just giggled at me.

The actual movie still hasn't started, so we made a big nest with the blankets and pillows on the love-seat recliners. I pulled a side table out of the corner of the room and placed all the snacks and drinks on it. The movie started and I climbed on the recliners with Magnus. The lights were all off, the only light coming from the screen. I checked my phone to see if Jace or even my mother have text me, no one has.

I don't know if I should feel upset by that or not. Jace is probably off with some girl, so he's probably... Busy. But does my mom really not care that I'm off at some guys' house without even telling her? My parents never really worried about me, they were always worrying about Jace and Izzy because they were usually the disrespectful ones. Jace and Izzy were all they cared about, they never even really glanced at me or Max. I've always felt bad for Max, I understood how he felt. He doesn't notice how ignored he always is, but if he's like me, he'll realize in the next two years or so. I just hope that my father doesn't taint is poor, small mind.

I don't know h

My thoughts were disrupted by and arm being draped around my shoulders. I looked over to Magnus with a blank look, he raised his eyebrow in question. I shook my head and pretended to watch the movie, and that's how the rest of the night went.

Yup. I blew my first date with my angsty self.

**xXxXxXx**

When the movie was done, I could tell that Magnus wanted to ask me something. About what I've been thinking about I would imagine. I felt bad for not telling him anything, but I've known his for just a few days, it's not like we're good friends. Now that I think of it, why would I let someone I've known for only a few days bring me back to their place and let them kiss me? *points to self* I'm a fuck up.

I helped him clean up a bit. His little cat - Chairman Meow - would run around my feet and carry around the wrappers from our snacks. Cats are so much better than dogs. I bent down to grab him, but being a cat, he ran away. Figures.

"The Chairman doesn't like to be picked up," He said, "unless I do it. He's got a little crush on me."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling, Magnus just had that personality where I could smile at anything he says just because he's so adorable when he talks. My smile seemed to cheer Magnus up a bit, since I've been so... What would you say I was? I've thought before than I've had depression, but my parents denied that. Maybe I should check into that.

"I think it's time for me to go, Magnus. It's midnight and I'm pretty sure my mom's already pissed at me." Magnus looked upset. "But I'll try to text you." I felt my ears heat up. Damn me for not being a vampire or zombie or anything without a beating heart.

He led me to his front door, I saw from the window that his dads' car was here, but I haven't heard him make a single noise.

"Do you need a ride? It's kind of dark, I know you only like ten minutes away but I don't want you to get hurt, Alexander." Magnus honestly looked concerned. How could I deny that puppy dog face?

"Yeah, you're right. Just stop a little ways from my house so my family won't hear your car." Magnus nodded and ran to get his keys.

My phone buzzed once Magnus left the foyer. The text was from Izzy, _alec, don't come back. please._

Uh oh.

I franticly texted her back, _Why? What happened Izzy?!_

Her response was almost instant, _dad's here. and mom told him you were gay. he's freaking the fuck out. jace is with him and we're trying to calm him down, but stay where you are. I won't tell dad you're with magnus._

My stomach dropped. Why would mom tell him? My body was shacking, I felt like I was going to faint. Where am I supposed to go? Mom obviously wasn't okay with me being gay if she told Robert. I guess I'm old enough to rent a small apartment, or maybe Jace and I can go get a small house and live together. Oh god.. Why can't I trust anybody?

Magnus walked back into the room. I tried to hide my face, but I need to tell him I can't go home. Before I could even open my mouth, Magnus spoke, "Alexander, what's wrong with you tonight? You're as pale as a ghost."

I looked at my shoes, I'd probably lose it and start crying if I saw his face. "Um," I stammered, "I can't go home…" My voice trailed off.

"Why? Alec, please-" He was cut off, there was a knock at the door. We both looked at each other, who would be here this late at night? Magnus slowly made his way to the door and looked through the peep hole. He turned to look at me, then he opened the door. I shifted my head to see who Magnus was talking to. My heart dropped.

It was my dad.

* * *

**A/N: SORRY I GOT LAZY AND I REALLY WANTED TO POST TODAY. But yeah, got a cliffie going on here. Hehe. I thought that the story was boring, so I needed to add some suspense.**

**Thanks for reading guyssss. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED! But I'm going to go for a run, but I'll try to think about what to write next. Bye guys!**

**~xxHaley **


	7. Overreacting

**It's Friday the 13th and I'm scared and it's been a really shitty day today. But these ideas rolled into my head with such ease, I needed to write. Plus writing helps me cope and makes me happier.**

**Hope you guys are having a good day though, thanks so for reading.**

* * *

My name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood, and tonight will be the end of me.

My sister, mother and I moved in the past week, and things were going great considering. But, there's this little problem. I'm gay and I've fallen for a boy already. Only after a few days? Pathetic right? I've always been the pathetic loser in my group of friends and in my family. This bay, his name is Magnus, and somehow I'm already making out with him? Iz has taught me her ways well.

My father hates gays. He hates me. Well, he didn't hate me before, he didn't know that I wasn't straight. Now he does. How? Who the fuck knows why.

At the moment, I'm shielding myself from the front door. My father is standing right there, right in front of Magnus. They haven't said a word which scares the shit out of me. I've been contemplating for the past two minutes (it feels like it's been hours, honestly) about if I should ditch both of them, or confront my father. I saw Magnus motion to let my father in. I booked it up the stairs, which were conveniently placed five feet away from me. I glanced down to see what they were doing; Magnus led my father to the living room and looked up. He saw me and winked, telling me it was okay I was hiding.

How did I get myself into this? I went off into the first room I saw and hoped Magnus' dad wasn't in there. He wasn't. I went to the corner of the room where no one would be able to see me if they glanced in through the doorway.

I tucked myself into a ball sat there for who knows how long. Eventually, I fell asleep.

**xXxXxXx**

I woke up with the sun shining right into my eyes. I wasn't in the room I fell asleep in, but in what I guessed to be Magnus' room. The walls were a very light lavender, light tan wooden floors, an oak desk with two tall oak dressers next to it, and two doorways. There were posters, pictures and drawings all over. But there was one thing I missed; there was a little nook in one of the corners of the room. In that corner was a white pleather couch, but there was someone sleeping on it.

Magnus.

Wow, I really can trust him. If he can respect me enough to let me sleep alone, I shouldn't be worried about the rest of the stuff we've done.

I slipped out of the yellow blanket and tip-toed over to the couch. He shifted when I was about five feet away, but stayed asleep. I sat crossed legged next to the couch by his head, softly brushing his hair out off of his forehead. Magnus' eyes fluttered at my touch and made eye contact with me. We both smiled at each other.

"G'mornin', blue eyes," Magnus slurred.

"Good morning," I looked him in the eyes, "thanks for sleeping on the couch, I kind of feel bad that you had to sleep on here though..."

"Don't apologize, darling. I knew that you'd probably feel uncomfortable sleeping with me already." He laughed nervously.

Oh shit. Magnus thinking about sleeping with me makes him nervous.

That really does surprise me though, I'm pretty sure that he's gone _further_ than just sleeping with people, but he's.. You know... _Slept _with people. That thought made me shiver, considering that I'm a virgin (a virgin loser that is).

We were both silent. I got up and looked down at him, "I'll let you get back to sleep, it's pretty early." I turned but before I could even go forward one foot, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto him.

"Please stay." He commanded.

I shook my head yes as in saying okay. Here I was, laying on Magnus. On his couch. Alone. That observation made me panic, but I told myself not to worry because he respected me last night, so he will now. Hopefully.

"So," I started, "what did you and Robert talk about?"

Magnus took a shaky breath. "Oh, um." He paused, "He asked if you were here. Apparently your mom told your dad and everyone else that you were gay and that you were at my house. I told your dad Robert, that I had no clue what he was talking about." He smiled to himself, obviously proud. "He was being a suborn ass, he even took it upon himself to walk around the house and look for you." He continued, " When he was about to go into the room across from the one you were in, my dad came out and told him to leave. For once my dad actually did good."

"Wow." I didn't know what else to say. "Uh, if I don't see your dad later can you tell him thanks? He really did save me." Magnus paled. "O-oh, you don't need to tell him. Like, if he didn't know I was here and still am, just- I don't know." I buried my face in my hands. Why am I unable to talk to people without sounding like a dumbass?

"Alexander, you don't need to worry so much. My dad knew you were here last night, but he doesn't know you spent the night, so we gotta keep silent." He winked at me. Ugh, his winks will be the end of me.

I didn't know what to say so I rested my head on the crook of his neck and stared at the couch. Magnus was stroking my hair, and I really wish I was tired so I could fall asleep. Damn anxiety keeps me up.

Right when I was getting sleepy, I heard my phone buzz. I looked at Magnus and he let me off his body. I stumbled over to my phone and unlocked it. Two texts and one missed call.

The miss call was from Izzy at one in the morning, and a text went alone with it. She just asked if I was okay.

The next text on the other hand was from Jace.

_Shit, _I thought to myself.

I took a deep breath then opened the message. _Can we talk? about what happened with dad yesterday. _I felt the panic crawling up my body. Jace knows I'm gay. He knows I just spent the night at a guy's house. Great. Now even more of my family hates me.

I felt a presence behind me as saw that Magnus was reading the message. He must be thinking the same thing because his face was a grim as mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck. He was murmuring consoling words into my ear. I turned around in his arms and put my right hand on his chest, and my left behind his neck. I leaned forward and softly brushed my lips against his. He must have been surprised because his body tensed.

"My brother hates me. Everyone hates me. How did you get your dad to accept you? I need help. I need help, please..." I felt my eye start to water and felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"Shh, it's okay, baby," He took a deep breath, "I think you just need to confront your father. Tell him how you feel. And if he doesn't accept you, then fuck him, he's not worth your time." I leaned back so I could look at him.

"And as for your brother," He added, "He's still going to love you. You can't just think he's going to be like your father. Not everyone that is raced with asshole parents are assholes. Like me for example, my dad used to be an awful man. He's not anymore, but you know what I mean." He seemed to be at a loss of words.

'I guess... I just don't know what I would do without Jace, he's my best friend." Just by the thought of losing Jace made me cry even harder. He's always been there for me, not as much as he used to, but that could be blamed on my father.

"Maybe you should go talk to him, hun." Magnus suggested.

"I am. He asked me a little bit ago if we could talk. I'll go ask him if we can meet for coffee. Sorry for me having to leave so soon." I sincerely felt bad for not being able to be with Magnus for a long time, most of the time I was with him I was in a sour mood. I'll just make it up to him later.

Magnus nodded I went to text Jace. I told him to meet me at Java Jones in twenty minutes. He replied soon after and said he will. I found Magnus looking over the edge of the staircase. I stood next to mine and put my arm around his waist.

"I'm going t see Jace soon. I was thinking I could come back later," He looked at me with big eyes. "Oh, if you don't want me to come back, that's fine. I'll just-"

"No, Alec, I want you to come back. We need to talk."

I thought my heart was going to explode. He didn't seem too happy. What if he's going to tell me he's had enough of me already? I really wish that there was a wall next to me so I could start banging my head against it.

"Okay. I-I should probably leave now." He pulled me into an embrace and I let my body sink into his. Ugh, he smells _sooo_ good. I gave him a peck on the lips and walked down the stairs to the front door. I waved goodbye to him and left to see if my brother hated me or not.

**xXxXxXx**

I got to Java Jones almost ten minutes early. There was no line at the register so I ordered a large hot chocolate (my favorite) and a chocolate muffin (also one of my favorites). I walked to a two seat booth in the corner next to a wall and window and waited. This will be a long five minute wait.

Jace ended up coming ten minutes late, which didn't really bug me. He's usually late. When he saw me in the corner, he put it signature grin on and came strutting over. He apologized for being late.

"No problem." It was expected.

"So, I hear you got yourself a man." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. Huh? He wasn't mad that I was gay?

"Wait, so you're not mad at me?"

"What! Why would I be mad at you, Alec? You're my best friend and brother, I'm not going to hate you just because you're gay. It's actually a good thing for me, more ladies all to myself." Typical Jace. He started to speak again, "Well, I guess I don't need all the women out there. There's actually this girl that I really like, the thing is, I'm pretty sure she hates my guts."

"Ouch. That must've been a shock. No one denies the great and powerful Jace." Knowing that Jace accepted me put me in a much, much better mood.

He frowned, "Be nice." He took a deep breath, "I think she's the one. She's not one of those slutty girls that I usually go for, she's absolutely amazing."

Jace had a far off look in his eyes. Could he- Jace Herondale - fall in love with a girl? One that might not even like him bad? If she breaks his heart, I swear I'll sick Magnus' cat onto her.

"So you really think you want to spend the rest of your life with her? To me she seems like she doesn't appreciate you. You need to be careful with what you do, I don't want you to get hurt, Jace."

"You're to speak," Jace spat at me, "You're the one who's sleeping with some random glittery man-whore after knowing him for a day."

I was in complete shock, my mouth hanging open. Jace has never hurt me like this before. I bolted up, almost knowing the chair over causing a small scene, and stormed out of the coffee shop. I heard Jace call after me, but there's no way he can make up for what he said. That just went too far.

I don't know where to go now. As of now I'm roaming the streets of New York City alone. I could go back and see Magnus, but that just makes me seem too needy. We weren't even dating, right? I have no right to go to his house whenever I feel like it.

My phone dinged and I pulled it out to see who it was. Of course it was Jace, he asked where I was and said he wanted to keep talking. Yeah right. I really don't want to see him. For a long time.

I replied with a simple 'no', and kept walking past all the business men and women, couples, and homeless people.

The urge to break my phone came over me, but I resisted it, just in case. I can't go home, Robert could still be there. Fucking Robert. He has always ruined stuff for me. Once I finish this year of school, I'm moving out of state so I can be as far away from my family as possible. Maybe Magnus can come with me...

But here I am at the moment, walking alone, no destination, and with a hurt heart. Loving and trusting people gets harder and harder as I get older.

* * *

**So like I said, I'm having a poop day. I ended the story how I ended my day today. My mom was complaining to me about my boyfriend and I got mad and left and I had nowhere to go, not even my boyfriend's house.**

**Enough of my angsty self, how are you guys? \(._.)/**

**Please review, reviews will make me happy and giggle and feel like I'm doing something good. Thank you so much guys, :***

**~xxHaley**


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